Death by flip-flop (not the John Kerry kind)

It turns out that flip-flops are dangerous to drive in:

Three in every four motorists have admitted they find it hard to drive in flip flops and road safety experts have warned that wearing the sandals in the car could be a lethal decision.

I guess I'm the fourth; I wear flip-flops at least as often as my tennis shoes, and I've never had a problem. Perhaps that's just because drivers tend to pull over like they do for an ambulance when they see me coming, so I always have an open road ahead of me. (Intentionally erotic erratic swerving can do wonders for a traffic-jammed thoroughfare...)

But my favorite part of this article is yet to come:

The Sun also says that German researchers revealed last year that 14 out of 25 pairs of flip flops they studied contained toxic chemicals known to lower sperm count in men and attack the liver, kidneys and reproductive organs.

Does that mean I have to stop wearing flip-flops on my penis and abdomen? Sheesh, experts ruin everything.