Live Another Day: A New James Bond Script

This is absolutely hilarious. It uses every imaginable liberal catch phrase and displays the kook anti-war, understand-the-terrorist mentality. Quality. A favorite selection:

M
Indeed. The Empire has been attacked. We need your... singular talents.
(snaps a button; a picture slides up revealing a COMPUTER MONITOR, upon which is displayed SURVEILLANCE SNAPSHOTS of Al Qaeda terrorists)
They call themselves "The Secret Al Qaeda Organization of Europe." They are dedicated to killing as many British civilians as possible... I want you to find them, 007. I want you to pick up their scent, hunt them down, infiltrate them.... Your mission, 007, is to find out--

BOND
If SPECTRE's behind them?

M
-- "Why do they hate us?"

BOND
(blinks silently)
What?

M
It's of the most vital urgency that we understand why they hate us.

BOND
Well... okay, I suppose. Get inside your enemy's head. I see. As Sun Tzu said: To destroy your enemy, you must think as he does.

M
Who said anything about "destroying" anyone? What kind of loose talk is that?

BOND
Well, I just sort of assumed...

M
Well for pity's sake don't. We're not that sort of organzation, 007. We don't just run around like cowboys gunning down whatever black hats we've deemed villain.

BOND
Sure we do. It's pretty much all I've done for twenty five years.

M
Not anymore. We are dedicated to the proposition that all conflict is the result of misunderstanding, and that all misunderstandings are presumptively our fault. It is your mission to terminate those misunderstandings -- with extreme predjudice.

BOND
Ah. I see where you're going with this. When you say "misunderstandings," you mean terrorists.

M
No, I mean misunderstandings. I want you to communicate with them, honestly and openly. And a little grovelling wouldn't hurt.