all we need now is a gay country music star

A friend of mine from home is on a community blog, and one of his fellow posters wrote a memorandom to the gay agenda folks on what their next front should be in the battle for cultural acceptance: a gay country singer.

But you’ve been pausing at the very threshold of your victory. The time has come to deliver your coup de grace.

The gay country-western star. No, really. Flaming gay. The last bastion of opposition is, as you know, that inscrutable group of Middle West conservatives. They’ve lost every other creeping cultural battle – mass consumerism, abortion – they’re even starting to care about the environment. They're ripe for your influence. They need a big, guitar-playing, hunky gay country boy to show them the way.

I foresee this playing out in one of two scenarios. 1. You contact an existing country music star, with a huge following. Secretly offer him untold millions to slowly, slowly come out. (It doesn’t matter if he’s really gay or not; he’s in show business.) 2. You create a country star, gay from the get-go, a la American Idol. In fact, do it on TV. That seems to work really well, even for completely untalented people.

Either way, your star is still super-tough, but he slowly starts writing more ‘best bud’ songs and all his loves songs are written without feminine pronouns. In fact, they’re all in gender-neutral second person. He loves his country, he’s proud to be an American, he’s pro Iraq-war (or Iran, or Brazil, or whomever we’re at war with at the time). He still writes moving songs about his mother. He might take a stab at NASCAR driving. He might face half-hearted opposition, but you own all the radio and television stations, so you can keep him on the air. It’s nothing you haven’t faced before.

Sooner or later all those hicks will soften up. It’s worked on Television, it’s worked in Pop Music, it will work in Country-Western. You’ll be selling twin-sets of chaps at Wal-Mart in no time.

Read the whole thing; it's hilarious. Yet at the same time it's entirely likely, which is scary.